Speak

The only quiet woman is a dead one.

(sylvia plath)

so speak

speak even when ur voice shakes. speak even when thee room does naut go quiet for u. speak even when they look at u like u r too much. u r too much & that is exactly right. they do naut have enough room inside them for what u r carrying.

i am MarTha & i am telling u speak.

if u do naut speak, i promise u this world will wait. it will wait very patiently & very quietly & it will call that waiting “giving u space” & u will be silent for years & call it “being fine” & both of u will be lying.

so speak anyway

speak about urself. about the thing that happened in 2019 that u have told exactly zero people. about how certain songs still make u pull over the car & just sit there. about the hunger that has nothing to do with food. about wanting something so badly it lives in ur chest like a second heartbeat that nobody else can hear.

speak about thee woman next to u who can’t. whose mouth has been trained shut since she was seven years old & told to smile more & take up less space & be grateful. speak for her. carry her silence inside ur own sound. that is what voices r for.

speak about humans. about how we r all very frightened animals trying to be loved before we die, that is it. that is thee whole thing. speak about that, speak about thee terrible things too. even theee terrible things deserve a mouth.

i speak

i speak when i am exhausted & when i am wrong & when i have nothing but feeling & feeling is enough, it has always been enough, anyone who told u otherwise was protecting themselves from ur aliveness.

käthe kollwitz self portrait

& sweeties when i am dying, when i am in thee last slow hours of whatever this was, i will speak then too. i will say the thing i have been meaning to say since i was 17 & thought i needed permission from someone to say it. i will say it without permission. i will say it for myself & for every woman who swallowed her words so long she forgot she had a tongue.

& when i am ash. when i am just ash & memory & laughing at something stupid, even then i will speak. my ash will speak to u about soil & rain & what it felt like to be alive in this specific body on this specific burning planet.

my ash will say it was worth it. all of it!

& my ash will say speak. while u still can. speak while ur lungs still work & ur hands still shake & ur heart still breaks over things that matter. speak like it costs something. speak like sylvia did. speak like ur silence is thee most dangerous thing about u.

because it is.

& because i love u & because love without voice is just a feeling dying quietly inside someone’s chest.

& i refuse to be quiet.

& i refuse to let u be quiet either.

speak.

thanks for reading, sweeties! share it with ur sweeties

🩵💙❤️